Weddings And Kids

In the movies, the most idyllic and blissful wedding scenes involve cute and lovable children. Kids, of course, are cheery, innocent and fun creatures. Their very presence at weddings can, in the movies and in real life, bring hilarious or even disastrous results.

Most kids are fun seekers, and will have no qualms about amusing themselves when things get dull. They can also have a hard time calming down and appreciating the importance of the day, the way adults do. When it comes right down to it, weddings can be very boring for children. Usually, a bored kids means trouble for adults. Instead of sitting quietly, they'll giggle, fidget and make noise. They'll wander around, play with their food, squabble with other kids and even break things. These antics may seem funny to the children but can be nightmarish to adults. Especially the bride and groom.

Should Children be Invited?

Let's face the facts. To most brides and grooms, having kids at their weddings is not a great idea. The very thought of having an unruly child mess up her gown or upset the bridesmaids sets panic in any bride-to-be. Unfortunately, many parents are not very sensitive to the concern. They don't appreciate or comprehend how a bride could not want their cute and loveable kids at the wedding.

Wedding etiquette guides and books suggest that you should make it clear on the invitation that children are not invited. They offer two ways of stating that the bride and groom would rather not have children in attendance. Either omit the kids' names from the invitation, or verbally spread the word that your wedding is an "adult only" occasion. The second option may seem a little extreme, but it's better than enduring a child's misbehavior or tantrums on your special day.

Because not all people understand and know wedding etiquette, it is sensible that at some occasions, the couple should be straightforward and inform the guests beforehand that the wedding would involve an 'adult reception.' In some cases, you will need to be frank in telling guests that kids are not welcome at the ceremony or the reception. It may seem impolite, but think about it from a practical standpoint. Formality is an important element in your once-in-a-lifetime day. Recognize and protect it.

Another method to exclude children in wedding invitations is to mention the number of seats reserved for a particular guest. For example, Mr. and Mrs. Mercer are reserved only two seats at the reception. That means that Mr. and Mrs. Mercer's five children do not have places in the wedding. They should understand that. Guests who do not take your cues and insist on bringing their kids should be dealt with directly. Contact them before the wedding and explain why children are not included. Consider it a little lesson in wedding etiquette.

Etiquette for Parents

For parents, if it is not said in the wedding invitation that children are not permitted to attend the wedding, and the couple and hosts did not call to emphasize the idea, then it is safe to assume that you could bring along your children. However, you must remember your simple wedding etiquette and deal with any unruly behavior immediately. You wouldn't want your own wedding spoiled by a child's tantrum.

Empathize with the position of the bride and the groom.

Think of how you would feel if you were in their shoes, and children created scenes at your wedding. It would not be sweet and cute, right? Take the initiative and leave your children at home, if you can help it, when you attend the wedding. They could play around the house or watch the television or do their homework. They would likely get bored throughout the wedding ceremony and might ruin everything.

If you must bring the children, put your own wedding etiquette to good use and make the most of the occasion. Use it to teach your kids manners and proper behavior at formal events. Turn this occasion into a learning opportunity, and explain that you expect your children to behave like the adult guests. This is a great teaching occasion to show the kids how to act during weddings, and educate them about some table and social manners. Wedding etiquette also suggests that we should treat every occasion as a learning experience. Couples can learn to be good and patient hosts, and parents can learn a valuable lesson about taking responsibility and sharing valuable social skills.

About the author:

Larissa Levise is a contributor to numerous web sites, on family affair and family life themes.

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